Creating Enough but Not Too Much Friction

This week’s “Leadership and Purpose” blog entry will piggyback on last week's entry on Dealing with Conflict. As I suggested last week, “friction is not only inevitable but is useful to the producing of forward progress in organizations and in relationships… Conflict in the hands of God and a good leader uses friction to produce positive forward motion.” So with that premise, conflict (or friction if you will) may be seen as something to be desired, not avoided. Taking that concept a step further, does a leader’s task not only involve the using of friction toward positive change, but of actually creating friction toward those ends?

Let’s take the last Presidential race as an example. Friction is certainly created between candidates as they try to accentuate their own strengths and abrasively rub in their opponents’ shortcomings whether actual, merely perceived, or outright falsified. The creation of these conflicts often brings to light the differing positions of the candidates on various issues voters are concerned about. Forward progress takes place in the minds of American voters when the conflict brings enlightenment leading to voting decisions. When Donald Trump calls Ted Cruz a liar or Marco Rubio calls Trump a con artist, or Ted Cruz calls Hillary Clinton criminal, and Hillary calls The Donald a bigot, the creation of this friction may be quite helpful if the conflict moves voters to find the truth and make informed voting decisions. However, if the highly emotional nature of these barbs largely serves only to cause voters to be led by bombast rather than reason, the friction created may be more likened to the moving parts of an engine with no lubricant, eventually not only damaging the individual parts but actually destroying the entire engine. 

A leader will necessarily create some friction. Things may get heated and a bit uncomfortable before the benefits of that conflict are realized. Every leader needs to ask him or herself how much friction is to be endured and how much is too much. Are you creating friction toward forward progress or toward destruction? Is the goal to shed light on the subject or to deflect attention from truth? As a leader, your vision should be to lead your organization toward a preferable future. A dedicated leader will sacrifice her or him self for that cause and will recognize the difference between necessary friction and catastrophic abrasion. If the vision of the GOP, for example, is to reverse the trend of the last seven years, that has seen liberal ideology progressively moving our government further and further toward the left, then regaining control of the Executive Branch is essential. When does the abrasiveness created by leaders vying for the GOP nomination reach the point of destruction and loss of that vision rather than being useful toward achieving that goal?

On the democratic side, is the vision being striven for seen as enlarging the role of government to provide more services and protection for all the people—to achieve greater redistribution of wealth in our nation and fundamentally transform our government to democratic socialism? Then likewise, for the Democratic Party, retaining control of the White House is vital to build upon the advances of the last seven years toward that end. Is a healthy level of conflict being produced in the Democratic Primary races? Should Bernie Sanders be more abrasive against Hillary Clinton? Running against an opponent who is facing possible Federal indictment for her mishandling of classified material as Secretary of State, and with the vision for the Presidency at stake, should Sanders be more aggressively rubbing in that issue, or would creating that friction be destructive toward the goal? Again, good leaders need to be able to discern the difference toward the realization of the vision sought.

As American citizens, let us drill down past the rhetoric to see the truth as best we can. With due and prayerful deliberation, may we cast our votes according to a blending of our hearts and our minds—our passion and reason. As leaders in our own capacity, whatever that may be, may our prayer be: Lord, give me the will to create necessary friction and the strength to endure the heat. Give me the heart to press toward the best and the temperament to avoid harm. Give me the wisdom to discern the difference between enough and too much.   

Dealing with Conflict

Do you know the sound automobile tires make when they are spinning on ice? The transmission is engaged, the accelerator is being applied, the wheels are turning, but there is no forward progress. I remember the frustration I felt one winter while attempting to drive on a side road in Kansas City. The grade was only slight, but the snow packed street was icy. As I pressed the accelerator, along with the revving of the engine, I could hear the whining of the tires, zzzziiiiiizzzz…  zzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzz…  Instead of moving forward my car began sliding sideways toward the culvert at the side of the road. There was no friction (or conflict if you will) between the tires and the pavement to produce forward motion. In fact, the lack of positive conflict between the tires and the road was putting me and my car at risk.

I suggest that friction is not only inevitable but is useful to the producing of forward progress in organizations and in relationships. If we fear conflict our fear of it will make us handle it poorly allowing problems to fester and grow. Avoiding friction is like sliding toward disaster. The worst possible way to handle conflict is to avoid or ignore the friction. As leaders, we mustn’t see conflict as a bad thing but rather as a useful means to show us where things need to be addressed, changed and improved.

I was asked by one of my peers about how I handle conflict as a pastor. I answered, “Prayerfully, tactfully and in the fear of the Lord.” With the help of the Holy Spirit conflict is a tool to reveal real problems, hurts and their roots. With the ministry of the Holy Spirit conflict is an opportunity to bring healing. So, as a pastor, I don’t see my job as that of a manager jumping in to take control of a situation before it gets out of hand. I see my role as the Lord’s minister partnering with Him to resolve conflict. That’s not to say that conflicts should not be addressed quickly, but just to say that they should be addressed rightly. 

Conflict provides opportunity to lead. Conflict offers the possibility of not just managing or maintaining control of a situation, but to actually lead for change. Conflict in the hands of God and a good leader uses friction to produce positive forward motion.